Grumpy People

So our grumpy neighbours are at it again.  These neighbours don't live in our street (allthe ones in our street are lovely) but share a significant boundary with us.  Periodically they abuse us over the fence.  It is always related to noise the kids make, the abuse always involves swear words such as "shut the f**k up" and other such obsenities.  Apart from once where we may have been outside a bit too early (though according to the council website the time was perfectly acceptable) the times have ranging from 9.30am in the morning to 8pm at night where we have been abused.  Once they abused my brother-in-law when he leaned over the fence to look for a ball.  Last night (when I say night it was about 6pm) it was because the kids were squealing while Grant chased them round the garden - the sort of game kids love and she abused us and told us she was going to call the police. 

So for ages we have not let the kids outside in the morning until the grumpy neighbours, whom we have nicknamed "Bad Jelly and Dulboot" have opened their curtains.  We spend our time telling the kids to stop squealing and be quiet because of the neighbours will get upset but the reality is that it makes no difference - jumping on the trampoline is an issue, throwing a ball between 2 people (not hitting the fence).  Essentially to keep them happy we would need to never go outside. 

On the plus side we have been trying to use it as a lesson to teach the kids about how awful it is to be so grumpy.  The kids respond to that, because they don't want to be like our lovely neighbours. 

So how old are they - approximately the same age as us.  Why are they like that? Well my best guess is that they want to have kids but can't and living next to us is doing their heads in.  And if that is truly I feel for them - however life goes on and we don't deserve to be punished for it.  They live in a suburb within walking distance of a large and very popular primary school and we live in a big house.  What were they thinking buying into such a family area.

I would love my kids to be able to freely go outside, but I am forever worrying that Bad Jelly (as she is the main perpetrator) will yell at the kids.  So what do we do:
1.  Raise the stakes and cause a major "Neighbours at War" situation - hmm really want to avoid that
2. Ignore it - thought I could, but it seems that yesterdays incident has really tipped me into feeling really stressed about it so doesn;t seem to be an option
3.  Drop a copy of the "Neighbourhood Noise" phamphlet into their mail box and some Real Estate mags? 
4.  Talk to them - well ages ago I invited them over for a drink (before they started abusing us) and they declined so I basically can't be bothered and the abuse will just upset me. 
5. Move - at the moment is seeming very appealing and if we didn't have a house that needs EQ repairs (not bad but still makes its harder to move), a depressed housing market, kids, an Au Pair and 2 offices at home I think I would but it really just isn't an option in the near future
6. And I've heard lots of other ideas on Facebook which I really appreciate :)

What are we going to do - don't know yet but I'm going to have to do something so keep the ideas coming.

Thank you to all my friends who tell us we are not doing anything wrong and give suggestions of how to deal with it - not least they bring a smile to my face and remind me we are NOT at fault here.  I also appreciate the sharing of similar stories too - we aren't alone and there are some people out there that really live sad lives being so miserable they won;t even let kids play.  If you are reading this and are one of those sad people - please stop and think and remember your own childhood.  Our whole neighbourhood was filled with the sound of kids laughing, shouting, squealing and generally having fun when I was a child.  We live in the same neighbourhood now but the silence due to people like our neighbours is deafening. 

Stop being such miserable bastards and let the kids be kids! :)

The weekend ahead

So tomorrow is the memorial day following the quake - day off work, but really not as exciting as a usual long weekend is.  I'm not going to the memorial at Hagley - too much this year with 3 kids and even though (saying this with a degree of with survivor guilt) we are relatively unaffected "out West" I have no desire to go near the city centre (even if its just Hagley Park), go on a bus or get caught up in traffic or be in a place with thousands of others - all those things and high rise buildings have little appeal.  It also feels a bit soon - but I guess this is a memorial for the people that lost their lives (not just in death but those still alive feel like they have lost much too) mostly - so now is a good time for that .  I guess next year it will be more of a celebration of how far we have moved forward as well as a remembrance - lets hope they make that fall on 22nd February though. 

Then on Sunday its the 20th March and this is the day Ken Ring predicts another big one - I don't really follow the guy but much has been said about this date it is definitely stuck in my brain and no matter how scientific and sensible you are you can't help but have a little niggling concern.  So I plan to be pottering round at home or maybe I should protest the fear that this prediction has fed and have a day out?  Picnic in the middle of a big grassy field anyone?

So after we have the memorial and then maybe another big quake what next?  Do we go full swing into demolition and rebuilding?  Do those that are really in dire straits get resolution first?  Is there a triaging system (like they have at the hospital) on people (in terms of their property and livelihoods) too as well as buildings?  If not there should be - I think if someone phoned and said they were ready to repair our house tomorrow, I would ask them to drop us way down the list.  I am quite happy to wait for another 5 years if it means those in desperate situations are dealt with first.

And what of the rebuild?  Christchurch has this enormously fantastic opportunity to build an iconic city and suburbs - but who will be the leaders that actually ensure this occurs and ensure widespread buy in?  Who will try and lead a uniquely kiwi build instead of trying to replicate overseas cities?  What works well overseas will not always work here.  Kiwis are unique and we want to stay unique, not to try and be molded into something we aren't. 

Meanwhile chaotic family life continues - everything seems to be a little dishevelled since the EQ.  Many of our routines have fallen flat and everything seems out of kilter.  Sort of similar to what happened when Mum died - a grieving process and adjusting to a new normal.  But we re-instated the treasure box in our house for the kids and a list of expectations for each day in order to get the treasure box and yesterday and today things have started improving markedly.  Now to get them all in their own beds...................now that might take a little longer...............still I can cope with that for now!  The sweet things the kids say and do make up for all the things you wish they wouldn;t!  Today I got a letter from Kate which said in part of it "you are wonderful Mummy" - made my day, oh and Adele finally did number 2 on the toilet which means no more cleaning up pottys or carrying them everywhere (until round 3 of course but i have a bit of time up my sleeves yet before that happens). 

And to finish - something that Mum always said "Things evolve naturally" and they do - its a great thing to always remember.

Here I am!

I've never been one to keep quiet in the corner.  I always have opinions and I like to share them.  But I always try to share them in a balanced way and listen to others too.  So I thought, hey, I really should have a blog.  No idea where this is going to go, but life took a curve ball for me, my family and every resident in Christchurch on 22nd February 2011 so life's journey just changed direction or took a curve at the very least.  But its all part of life's challenges and through all this we will get stronger.

My family got lucky this time - we live in a relatively unaffected suburbs and despite having slightly worse damage this time around it really has been put in perspective and can now be termed minor in the scheme of things.  My daughters school got lucky - though we didn't think so after 4th September when the school was wrecked and subsequently demolished but we now have a school in prefabs all on the original site which functions fine and the pre fabs were happy to bob around on their foundations in the latest Earthquake.  There are now many schools worse off and my daughters school will happily live with prefabs for a decade or more now I think.  Also none of us were in the CBD.  I think those in the CBD have a totally new perspective on the whole disasters, as to those on the "East Side" as its now become known.  But we don't always get lucky - perhaps I'll share those stories one day. 

So life carries on in Christchurch with a "new normal".  Many schools will return this week, we get used to traffic as bad as Auckland - no idea where that comes from given the reports in the paper suggest 60% of Christchurch residences are not occupied (perhaps that is an over exaggeration), the cordon slowly gets reduced, though its not open access, businesses reopen - often in new places but we now avoid high rises, car parking buildings and shopping malls.  There are no after school activities so we find there is less taxi driving and more time sitting around talking.  For many families they are farewelling loved ones and then adjusting to life without them.  Some people have left Christchurch temporarily, some will never return, others will still be asking the question whether to stay or go, those left behind and staying question the sense of those who have relocated to Wellington - perhaps those people forgot the even bigger fault line that runs straight under that city - its known and its big and their buildings are no better than those lost in Christchurch, but in times of shock and stress we all do interesting things :)  They feel safe and at the end of the day that is what's important. 

One question I ask myself, because unless we got an amazing job offer elsewhere, I don't think we are on the move, is what could I offer with my skills to be part of the redevelopment of the city?  I haven't figured that out yet, but in the meantime I am part of a busy working family hopefully bringing up 3 (hopefully) resilient kids who will benefit from the redevelopment of a better, safer Christchurch.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a sustainable, carbon neutral city as a legacy.......................a pretty big dream, but it takes a big dream to start big projects.